Parental favoritism, often termed as parental differential treatment (PDT), has long been recognized for its potential negative consequences on children. Recent research published in Psychological Bulletin underscores the significance of favoritism in parenting, linking it to issues such as relationship difficulties and diminished academic performance. The comprehensive study analyzed data from over 20,000 participants and sheds light on how subtle biases can deeply affect child development.
The researchers conducted an extensive review of more than two dozen studies that focused on preferential treatment towards children. Their findings reveal that parents tend to favor offspring who exhibit greater maturity or are easier to care for. This favoritism may manifest in nuanced ways, such as offering one child the benefit of the doubt more frequently or being more affectionate with them.
“Recognize that you may be inclined to give one child the benefit of the doubt more than another,” – Jensen
“or you may be more affectionate with one child over another,” – Jensen
Intriguingly, the study highlights that daughters are more likely to be favored than sons. However, favoritism, regardless of its direction, can prove detrimental to the unfavored child. It often leads to feelings of resentment and low self-esteem.
“Having healthy self-esteem is critical to developing the self-confidence one needs to perform optimally in academic and social settings,” – Laino
Parents frequently remain unaware of their favoritism, which is often unintentional. This unconscious bias can lead to comparisons among children, exacerbating feelings of inadequacy and resentment in those who perceive themselves as less favored.
“it is important to know which children might receive the short end of the stick,” – Jensen
To mitigate the effects of favoritism, parents are encouraged to engage in consistent self-reflection regarding their parenting styles. By doing so, they can better understand and address any underlying biases. Building strong relationships with each child can also play a crucial role in avoiding favoritism.
Parents should strive to show genuine interest in their children's individual interests and hobbies. Engaging in open-ended conversations about these interests can foster deeper connections and understanding. Additionally, finding common ground and dedicating intentional time for each child can further help balance parental attention.
Encouraging close sibling relationships is another key strategy in reducing favoritism. By fostering a supportive environment among siblings, parents can help children feel equally valued. Moreover, it's essential for parents to communicate transparently with their children, explaining that differing needs may necessitate unequal attention at times but do not reflect unequal love or care.
“There are families where parents favor sons, or where fathers favor daughters and mothers favor sons,” – Jensen
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