Gossip is a common aspect of human interaction, defined in scientific literature as “the exchange of personal information about absent third parties.” Though often seen as destructive, gossip is an unavoidable part of everyday life and fulfills many important social functions. Recognizing the dark and light sides of gossip Gossip is more than just a curiosity—it’s a powerful, messy, complex phenomenon that all humans partake in.
Recent conversations about trending media, like HBO’s The White Lotus, have shone a light on the negative aspects of gossip. As viewers might rightly suspect, the characters in the series who engage in this harmful gossip, which masquerades as concern, face dire consequences. Experts like Wayne State University’s Dr. Author Frank J. Sileo, PhD, explain the risks of hurtful gossip. It further can produce hostile climates and foster psychological pathologies, including depression.
The Ubiquity of Gossip
Gossip is as old as humanity itself, said to have started with the Mesopotamians. Today, it has morphed into a faster and far more faceless variant, thanks in large part to our digital era. Thanks to the internet, mobile phone and social media revolutions, the way gossip works has changed. According to Dr. Sileo, “The advent of the internet, phones and texting, and social media allowed gossip to spread faster and more anonymously than before.” Of course, reputations can be destroyed in seconds.
Frank McAndrew, professor of psychology at Knox College, notes an odd wrinkle. Everyone thinks of gossip as something bad that other people do, not as something they do themselves. He goes on to clarify how people often justify their gossiping under the guise of “being concerned” or “spreading helpful information.” This perception can help lead to the normalization of nefarious gossip, where hurtful comments are hidden under the guise of friendly chit-chat.
Though destructive gossip can have damaging effects on relationships and reputations, the sad truth is that it will always be in our human nature. No wonder Dr. McAndrew says, “Gossip has been around since the beginning of language. He points out that many linguists think that our urge to keep track of how other people are talking has had an enormous impact on how language has changed over time.”
The Positive Aspects of Gossip
Although we typically think of gossip only in this negative light, gossip can actually be a force for good. A 2021 study revealed that gossip helps individuals learn about each other, facilitating social bonding among those who share common interests. Positive gossip—like passing along praise or benevolent chatter—helps build social networks and make communities more resilient.
Dr. Sileo explains that when gossip is intended to build up, rather than tear down, it’s a positive thing. When the purpose is to protect rather than attack, gossip can be beneficial, he counsels, “When you’re trying to lift someone up rather than tear them down.” He challenges all of us to be agents of love by distributing more praise, more compliments, and true, uplifting news.
Taking a gossip positive lens, this perspective reminds us that gossip doesn’t have to be destructive. Rather, its effect depends on the purpose with which it was enacted. High-quality gossip builds camaraderie and develops a positive environment between classmates, creating a protective peer culture. Negative gossip spreads rumors that isolate the attacked, often baselessly tarnishing their reputations.
The Consequences of Negative Gossip
Malicious negative gossip is damaging and it almost always returns to harm the gossiper as well. Criminalization can foster an atmosphere of suspicion and fear, with long-lasting consequences on wellbeing and mental health. Dr. Sileo cautions that damaging anecdotes can do great harm. Yet gossip is dangerous to both the gossipers and the gossiped.
Additionally, it can foster deeper societal division, such as greater animosity between different groups of people who share a community. When we gossip in this way, we don’t elevate the conversation or break the cycle of cruelty and judgment. Dr. Sileo discusses how the women seem to uplift each other within the framework of The White Lotus. He points out that many of their comments are heartless and condescendingly judgmental.
Yet the psychological toll of this inappropriate negative gossip should not be underestimated. It can add to a sense of isolation as well as depression in people who are subjected to disparaging and hateful speech. In light of this, it’s important to distinguish between positive and negative gossip to promote healthier social dynamics.
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