For narcissists, every interaction is an opportunity to demonstrate their greater superiority. Such patterns of behavior are difficult to identify even in platonic relationships. Unlike romantic relationships where red flags might be more clear-cut, friendships with narcissists can be equally as draining and secretly manipulative. They are known to use others for their own gain, leaving many to question the health of their social circles.
In the world of relationships, narcissists go beyond draining energy. They use their friends. Instead, they have a tendency to one-up others and even have a hard time truly celebrating the successes of those around them. Rather than partake in the celebration, they want to redirect attention to their own record. This can lead to platonic relations with narcissists being especially toxic and draining.
One way that narcissists are more difficult to identify in social relationships is their capacity to hide their condescension. They aren’t always so obvious—often, they are couched in manipulative language that obfuscates their purpose, leaving you unable to figure it out until after the fact. The risk of encountering narcissists in platonic relationships may push some people to opt-out of close friendships completely.
“In their mind, every moment is a chance to prove that they’re superior.” – one user
In fact, narcissists have a difficult time empathizing with others, which means true support is hard to come by. When the sun is shining and conditions are perfect, they adore hanging out with buddies on the course. More than the friendship, they value you when you’re useful. The moment any difficulty comes up, they might get really tough or cold feet and then ghost you.
“They love being around you when you’re fun, when you’re successful, when you’re useful, but when you need actual support, they ghost, dismiss, act like you’re a burden,” – she
The emotional impact of surviving a friendship with a narcissist can be great. Many of us end up feeling depleted instead of invigorated after the meeting with these people. The burden of always having to tiptoe around or over-justify yourself creates a weariness and lack of confidence.
“exhausted because you’re constantly walking on eggshells or trying to prove your worth” – she
At the end of the day, knowing how to spot a narcissistic friend can help protect you from harmful friendships. If interactions with a friend leave you feeling like you’ve been used, ignored or emotionally depleted, it might be time to reconsider the friendship.
“If you constantly feel used, dismissed, drained, that’s not a friend.” – she
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