Quite the opposite Alizé Ruiz’s recent wedding has ignited a fiery debate about the obligation to give gifts in a special, often monetarily substantial context. Ruiz said after hosting over 120 guests, she was sad to only receive 12 cards and four gifts. This inequity opened a Pandora’s box of uncertainties over proper wedding-gift etiquette—offending half of TikTok against the other half on Instagram.
Our video explaining Ruiz’s experience has received over 1.6 million views, demonstrating that this issue resonates with people. Some wedding commentators even think it’s disrespectful to show up to a wedding without bringing a gift. Others – including many seasoned hosts – contend that the intangible benefits of a guest’s presence far outweigh their financial input.
The Expectations of Wedding Guests
A lot of people agree that guests should make a personal investment in your celebration with gifts of their own creation. Acquaintances and extended family (coworkers, cousins, etc.) should spend under $50-$100. Friends and immediate family usually donate in the $100 to $150 range. Very close friends and family members, especially if they’re in the wedding party, are invited to present gifts. Join us with a special anniversary gift of $150 or more!
Ruiz got real and said, “Now before you come for me, I’m not saying it had to be frankincense, it could have simply been a card with a healing message or prayer! She continued, “I mean, I’m not just going to go to someone’s wedding with no gift. Everyone knows that even the smallest of gifts is an appropriate and courteous way to greet guests. This idea is music to the ears of people looking to capitalize on it.
Others shared their thoughts and one user commented, “I really think that our generation really doesn’t understand basic common courtesy and manners. They wanted to be clear, “Anytime someone invites you anywhere, you bring something. POINT BLANK. This viewpoint illuminates a flagrant generational divide in the understanding of social etiquette related to gift-giving.
Diverse Opinions on Gift-Giving Etiquette
It’s been interesting to discover through this discussion that the definition of an inappropriate wedding gift is different for everyone. Some individuals argue that guests should ideally give enough to cover the cost incurred by the couple for their attendance. This perspective underscored that gifts are not simply tokens of gratitude. They’re a nidus through which to return the hospitality which has been graciously bequeathed upon the hosts.
This produced perhaps the most passionate comment in support of this idea. They were like, “N—–, it’s a wedding! At least get a card or a bottle of wine, or something like a $100 bill. Hell! These types of statements convey the overall impression that there is a minimal contribution level accepted from anyone who attends or participates.
Opponents say that people shouldn’t have to feel pressured to bring gifts just for being invited to celebrate two peoples’ decision to be together. All too often they think attendance is sufficient to ensure success. One such commenter noted, “People don’t owe you crap because you all chose to get married.” This is a big statement recognizing the impossible expectations on today’s wedding culture.
The Average Gift Amount and Cultural Shifts
According to data from wedding planning website Zola, the average American spends about $150 on a wedding gift. This figure complements Ruiz’s lived experience and the ongoing discourse about gift-giving culture. The platform recommends a financial breakdown for different types of relationships, which only continues to reinforce social pressures on how generous you should be at these events.
Ruiz’s reflection on her own experience resonates with many: “When we had 120 people at our wedding and we only received 12 cards and 4 gifts.” Her comments have prompted a larger conversation about cultural shifts in gift-giving practices, as well as the implications for both hosts and guests.
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