Dear Abby Offers Guidance to Grieving Reader on Social Interactions

Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, continues her mother Pauline Phillips’s beloved legacy. Most notably, she is the author of the popular advice column “Dear Abby”—which she still writes. In the weekly column, which you can read online at DearAbby.com, Phillips delivers wisdom and sound advice to millions of Americans facing social challenges and personal conflicts. One recent letter from a reader named Resentful in Illinois highlights the challenges of social interaction following a significant loss.

In an emotional letter, Resentful explained that their father had died five months prior. This loss has impacted them deeply, as they continue to experience life as parents of a 7-year-old. The grieving process has left Resentful feeling socially rusty. They feel their fight is rooted in 12 years of educational training and post graduate training that sizably cut down their social exposure.

Resentful expressed concern about connecting with other parents at their child’s school, particularly a classmate whose parent is a well-known musician. The letter disclosed that Resentful and their partner had once lunched with a Hall of Fame ballplayer. Yet today, they are afraid to reach out. At 55 years old, Grudgingness now holds the difficult weight of having lost their father. Along with the guilt lies the pressure to engage in social situations—for their child’s benefit.

In reply to Resentful’s objections, Dear Abby told them to stop playing Monday morning quarterback. Phillips reassured workshop attendees that expecting to be out of practice with socializing is part of the process, especially following a time of mourning and solitude. She encouraged Resentful to take this opportunity to build relationships with other parents. By developing these connections, they would not only improve their lives, but their child’s school experience.

The “Dear Abby” column is an American institution, the go-to source for advice on all things personal. Yet its wisdom rings true and loud through the ages. To read more advice, go to DearAbby.com. Or, mail questions to the column at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.