A recent survey by Lovense, administered by the team at Talker Research, has unveiled some disturbing trends between American couples. To start, many of them are experiencing a loss of desire and closeness in their partnerships. We all want and deserve long-lasting love. Researchers restricted their online survey to 2,000 Americans who are currently in serious relationships. They collected responses from March 24-30, 2025. Those results indicate that more than one in four of our participants feel that their partnerships could use a reboot.
The outcomes confirm a sobering truth. Today, nearly one out of every four Americans finds himself or herself trapped in what we’ll refer to as a “rut-ationship.” This relatively new term describes a condition in which couples become bored, stuck, or otherwise lackluster in their relationships. Perhaps not surprisingly, only 30% of respondents said they often experiment with new things in the bedroom to improve their intimacy.
Digging deeper reveals that among all respondents, almost half, 48%, have sex one to five times monthly. This discovery, which boasts dozens of studies of its own merit, emphasizes an urgent drop in physical interaction between them. The most salient signs of this rut are a 50% decrease in romance and intimacy. What’s more, 46% of Americans say their sex has become less enthusiastic and more habitual, as 32% admit to feeling bored in the bedroom. Moreover, miscommunication proved to be a major condition. 41% reported a decrease in the quality of conversation.
The survey’s responses suggest that a disconnect may exist between funders and their partners. Much more to love — Sixty percent of Americans think their partner is the best they’ve ever had in bed. The reality is, many aren’t able to maintain that creative momentum.
“After being together for years or even decades, it’s natural for couples to settle into a routine — and many find it challenging to reignite that initial spark. But keeping a long-term relationship exciting doesn’t have to be complicated,” – Dan Liu
Most encouragingly, the survey asked respondents which methods used to revive their relationship worked best – with more than a third (36%) reporting that they were effective. This is indicative of couples’ search for the antidote to inertia. Technologies intentionally created for intimacy can go a long way in making this happen. For example, 24% of Americans said they’d used toys in the bedroom. At the same time, 21% installed lighting and 13% played with playlists to enhance their experience.
According to relationship expert at Stanford, Dan Liu, innovation and creativity are essential to keeping intimate relationships vibrant.
“Sometimes, small changes — like introducing technology into the bedroom — can create fresh experiences and bring back that sense of intimacy and connection,” – Dan Liu
This new technology isn’t just important for the added convenience they provide to couples, Liu explains. It serves as an unexpectedly important method for increasing intimacy, despite their long distance.
“Technology isn’t just for long-distance relationships — it can help couples break free from routines and add excitement to their intimacy,” – Dan Liu
Our survey results illustrate a clear picture of the reality that today’s relationships are experiencing trouble. We found that a lot of couples really want things to be different, but they don’t know what to do to start making that happen.
“It’s not about replacing human interaction, but enhancing it and keeping things fresh, whether together or apart,” – Dan Liu
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